Monthly Merits: February 2017

May Cho Brunei Blogger of The Mayden
Monthly Merits is a monthly series where I recount and award the month's worthiest moments in merits. Read last month's merits here.

There never was any good in comparing something to another should it leave a person perplexed in the wrath of insecurity and despair. I cannot help as I type this, however, to put together the pieces of a year old month I have quickly torn apart and place it beside the February I have just had. The difference is striking; misery has become a toxic lover sent out on her knees.

I thank my lucky stars for a February filled with work, more work and even more work. Better a month of breathless smiles than one of idle cries. Here are this month's merits.

A Flatlay by Brunei Blogger May Cho of The Mayden Brunei Lifestyle Blogger May Cho of The Mayden with friends
I found myself right smack in the center of two theatre productions at the start of the semester last month, and February has been a long process of preparation for both. On one hand, I am both directing and acting, on the other hand, I am transcribing music and rehearsing with fellow musicians. I admit that patience has been running a little low lately, that tears have become regular companions and that late nights have not been infrequent, but the stress and endorphins have me on a dizzying high of a sense of accomplishment and I have been embracing it with open arms.

Both productions are happening at the end of March, so I expect to be preoccupied for the entirety of this month. Let's see how long I can hold on without falling apart. After all, once you reach the zenith, you gotta come back down. 

School, rehearsals and events lead fairly and squarely to human interaction. A lot of human interaction. Excessive human interaction. And while I do agree that I have gained control of the ropes of socializing and can hold myself pretty well in conversations, what it costs takes triple the time to recuperate and time is not something I seem to have a lot of these days. Take that on top of 10 hour days of rehearsing and studying and finding spare time to fulfill schedules of pre-scheduled schedules and I am a sleep-deprived, aching and cranky university student.

My body is ridden with exhaustion and I recognize the state of fatigue I am entering into -- I have become a ticking time bomb that, at the slightest bend of my own established rationality, will combust into tears, despair and, I believe at times, flames. Definitely flames.

Human interaction has not been all that bad, really. Aside from the fact that I knock myself out after I shut the doors to gleeful conversations peppered with innuendos and good spirit, I have been enjoying my time with people, classmates, friends.

I've also learnt a lot about myself this month because of people -- namely that I have a horrific tendency to patronize and condescend unconsciously, though I have to admit that this is something I am aware of already but it seems as though the rot has found a time to make itself seen and heard (also, trust me when I say that I have henceforth been actively working on it) -- and I'm eternally grateful.

Brunei Blogger May Cho of The Mayden with Model Phoebe Cho at L'Orient's First Anniversary Runway
Brunei Blogger May Cho with the Haus von Jimmy R team at L'Orient's First Anniversary Runway | Awangku Hadi, Azim 'Jimmy' Rosli, Phoebe Chok and Siddiqah Rosli
I wish I have more to add to the month of February, but it is what it is; a month of repetitive work that seem to be working towards a culmination, of which I hope will be in epic worth and proportion, this March. I am beyond exhausted but also beyond excited to see what the month has in store for me.

How was your February?


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