She is the cynosure in the marbled halls, the axis aligning all eyes. A sweep of her hem, billowing dauntlessly behind her -- whoosh -- and she is set alight in cobalt poise. Like the slow burning candle in a stale, somber room, she radiates.
One of the biggest issues I suffer from is confidence. My self-confidence level lurks somewhere in the negatives and it's only ever soared as high as a snail leaping from the ground (i.e: never). It's a universal thing, I think, that everyone has a seed of self doubt ingrained deep in their hearts and minds, and it is only natural that this grows into thorns that constrict our throats, into weeds that clog our vision.
So sometimes, sometimes, when it becomes a full-fledged vine attack, we want to prune and shear and annihilate them. Choke them with our regalness and show them who's capable.
I felt beautiful when I did this shoot, and I say this with no vanity or self-obsession; just a whole heart of gladness and relief. I had makeup on, a fierce red gracing my lips, highlights illuminating my cheekbones, contour accentuating them. I had a pair of stunning earrings on, an embellished dress that cinches my waist, elongating me. I had on a pair of black, jeweled heels and a group of inspiring people with me. They support, they encourage, they fuel. I felt beautiful.
So, begone, I said to my prowling self-doubt. It is only in this moment that I get to sit in a luxury resort, with large paneled windows letting sunlight seep through, only in this moment that I get to capture the one time I feel like royalty, only in this moment that I get to jump and twirl and let a chiffoned hem engulf me in elegance. So for a whole afternoon, I let it slip by, I let it become nothing but a distant thunderstorm cracking into silence.
It still baffles me how, up till now, after 18 years of living, people still find it incredibly entertaining to make jokes from my name. I know I talk way too much about it, but I've got a long line of people supplying me with fuel for the flame. If you didn't already know, my name is May and I was born in June, so it's been a constant source of delight for people when they start pointing it out. I just got introduced to someone a little before I started writing this post, and his immediate response was, "But it's July." I swear.
I've got this weekend off, which means no work and more sleep, and I am beyond excited to sleep till the sun sits high in the sky. It's been ages since I've had any proper sleep (these days, I survive on 3 hours) and the thought of cozying up under sheets and sweaters excite me.