Monthly Merits: November

Brunei Blogger May Cho of The Mayden | Violin, Style Blogger, Lifestyle Blogger
November means no sleep, no rest and lots of stress. This year's November has been a little kinder to me, though, the product of vigorous support-system building and preparation months ahead, I'm sure. I got my fair share of Stressed Uni Student Syndrome, but I was still able to enjoy the month, what with events here and there.

I made it out of November alive, sanity still intact and am ready to share this month's merits.

Pale Fire

Brunei Style Blogger May Cho | On the frustration at the lack of inspiration | Sheinside, The Mayden, Choker, Grunge, crop top, pencil skirt, writer, writing, prose, experimental, creative, portrait, photographyBrunei Style Blogger May Cho | On the frustration at the lack of inspiration | Sheinside, The Mayden, Choker, Grunge, crop top, pencil skirt, writer, writing, prose, experimental, creative, portrait, photography
“The moon's an arrant thief, And her pale fire she snatches from the sun.”
― William Shakespeare

I must make a confession. It is neither a confession that threatens my morals, nor is it a confession that invites sordid shame. It is a confession that saddens me, more than anything. It is a sort of confession that forces me to see that getting out of the house is not a good idea and that my feet are rooted in mud and dead grass and to realize that the November rains are not here to cleanse me of dirt and soil. It is not here for me, not there for me, not anywhere at all, really, but everywhere for a cracked piece of ashwood to sod.

There was a time when I was still under a roof that I felt the logs inside my soul weigh me down. It was not a gentle tugging. It was not a puncture, not a deflation. It was a heavyweight fighter throwing me down to the floor, pinning my head and heart down kind of weigh me down. So I had burnt them, the logs. Tinder and spark. Fire and bark. I left shelter thinking I could keep myself warm. And so it goes, the tale of a burning girl in monsoon winds.

Monthly Merits: October

Monthly Merits is a monthly series where I recount and award the month's worthiest moments in merits.

Exhaustion never tasted as good as when October handed it to me on a silver platter, a main course of tender meat flavored with herbs. I feasted on it without a moment's hesitation, chewing rapidly and letting it overload my senses. 

As predicted, October was an amplified September. So many things to do, so little time to hold a camera in my hand to document. This won't be the usual merits, more of a highlight post, short and sweet.

Flower Child

Brunei Blogger May Cho, hibiscus, tumblr, color, experimental, ,80s, vintageBrunei Blogger May Cho, hibiscus, tumblr, color, experimental, ,80s, vintage, flower
Musings is a series of creative, experimental expositions of ideas, observations or thoughts with a specific focus on fictionalizing reality and visual writing, using style as visual accompaniment. Style takes secondary focus in Musings.

My heart is withering like a wrinkly, old prune and I feel it dropping out of me. It is ugly and heavy, a shriveled up boulder. It falls on dead lilacs, dried lilacs. This I write with ink of rose cataracts. Dumb lilacs.

I watch the evening devoid of carbon and devoid of oxide. I have become a decaying carcass. The night sky is infinite and dotted and dashed and the dandelions are feathery and whisper-y and dance-y. They speak to me through the breeze -- it is the only way to speak to a blinded, deafened, deadened carcass. 

I feel on my skin their quiet little kisses. Ballerinas. They tiptoe through starlight in their slender, silky way. Every dried up crevice and drooping cranny on my body can feel it and I am filled with an incomprehension I do not want mollified. It is gentle. Calm. Soft, but an almost painful kind of soft. It is a pas de deux on the slopes of the breeze, and through my division, I feel an unexpected tug. 

No longer dead lilacs, dumb lilacs, though I still write from rose cataracts. I now paint with my crushed flower heart -- rose red, violet and ivy green, hazel. Colorful carcass of a flower child raised.

Monthly Merits: September

Brunei Style Blogger and Haus von Jimmy R Brand Ambassador May Cho at Big Bwn Street Fest
September was the salvation of a bone-dry pen whose ink had spilled a cathartic void of tangled screams. September saw the pen tamed to write once more, and here it is, finally -- ready to speak.

It's been all about keeping myself busy, busy, busy for the past two months, and though I believe I have succeeded, I think have also over-tired myself. I over-estimated the amount of work I thought I could handle. I suffer from the consequence with blue-black underneath my eyes, blood streams filled with caffeine and a war waged on my immune system.

There aren't much merits during the past two months, but I have been dabbling a lot into things I'd never have thought I'd have if not for a chain of events that lead me to a constant yearn to keep my hands fiddling and my mind occupied. It's been interesting, September, kind and quiet sister of August the tempest.

Empower x Min x Phoebe with Jay Johar

Brunei Blogger May Cho in collaboration with model Phoebe Chok nd Shi Min of discofissh, taken by Mujahid Jay Johar | style, blazer, monochrome, women empowerment
Brunei Blogger May Cho of The Mayden in collaboration with model Phoebe Chok nd Shi Min of discofissh, taken by Mujahid Jay Johar | style, blazer, monochrome, women empowerment
Brunei Style Blogger Shi Min of discofissh by Mujahid Johar | THE MAYDEN
Brunei model Phoebe Chok for The Mayden by Mujahid Johar
Three young women, three different styles, three different personalities -- unified by a single thread. 

With a photographer of evident calibre, synchronized blazers and a location to fit into the picture, we had our eyes set on telling a story, one that has strung the three of us together. We have so much to say, so much to share, but such a thin line to walk on. This I witnessed when we were seated around a cafe one afternoon trying to put our thoughts into words, and, within the strength we hoped to disperse, there is vulnerability and fragility in worried eyes and shivers.

No matter, I decided. 

Meet Min, meet Phoebe, meet May -- birds of a feather flocking together, trying to break out of a cage. 


Alt. Venture

Brunei Blogger May Cho collaborates with photographer Arif Rafie, Grunge Goth Street-style space buns, experimental, fashion, style
When hobbyists come together, an alternative, experimental sort of something is borne. 

This series of photographs was taken by Arif Rafie, a 16-year old with a camera and too much time in his hands. We pondered the vicinity of an old 80s bowling alley as dusk approached, the rundown, corroding walls fuel for our aesthetic joy. People flocked in and out of the fast food joint beside it as we crunched through gravel, their turning heads stopping us in our tracks occasionally. We exchanged glances of sheepish discomfort throughout the process.

When hobbyists come together, a bond of mutual respect, an almost laughable form of comprehension, is formed.

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